Beginning a journey

Though I've been a writer all my life, I've avoided the blog trend for a long time. Why? Mostly because I didn't think anyone else had the time to read about the minutae of my life. But this isn't a blog about what I do. It's meant to be a sharing of a spiritual journey I am about to embark upon.

I am a long-term Christian skeptic who left the church in college because I was tired of being told that my faith (or more like lack thereof) was not good enough. See, I'm one of these people who does things right or not at all. Since I had striven for years and failed to intellectually understand traditional Christian doctrine, I decided something most be wrong--either with me or with it. So I turned my back on the faith in which I was raised and looked for other alternatives.

Over the next few years I joined a Unitarian-Universalist congregation where the majority of the congregation were humanists. I explored Buddhism and earth-centered religions and have a great respect for these faiths. But I never felt entirely comfortable.

On Christmas and Easter I would go to my parent's church and long to have that connection, that feeling of being one with God that I had experienced as a child. Why was it so difficult for me? Why could I not just be like other people and accept these things? Why did I always analyze everything until all the mystery left it?

Maybe it is because I'm getting older; maybe it is because I now have a child of my own who helps me see the world with fresh perspective. For whatever reason, I have returned to the church. I have always looked to the teachings of Jesus as the basis for how I should live; I just had problems with some of the supernatural stuff -- like, oh, say the resurrection?

But I understand now that I'm not the only one. Even Thomas, Jesus's loyal disciple had a hard time with that one, and as of yet, Christ has not appeared to me in the flesh. So while my faith may not be strong, it is good enough. For now, anyway. I will see where it leads me.

I do want to say that although I am writing this from a Christian perspective, that is the path I have chosen to follow. I do not think people who follow other faiths are misguided or wrong. This is merely the medium I am using to express my faith. I welcome people of all faiths, or of no faith, to share my journey with me in honest and civil discourse.